KNOWLEDGE IS POWER
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
What is Personal Development
Personal development is a lifelong process. It is a way for people to assess their skills and qualities, consider their aims in life and set goals in order to realise and maximise their potential.
This page helps you to identify the skills you need to set life goals which can enhance your employability prospects, raise your confidence, and lead to a more fulfilling, higher quality life. Plan to make relevant, positive and effective life choices and decisions for your future to enable personal empowerment.
Although early life development and early formative experiences within the family, at school, etc. can help to shape us as adults, personal development should not stop later in life.
Why is Personal Development Important?
There are many ideas surrounding personal development, one of which is Abraham Maslow’s process of self-actualisation.
Self-actualisation
Maslow (1970) suggests that all individuals have an in-built need for personal development which occurs through a process called self-actualisation.
The extent to which people are able to develop depends on certain needs being met and these needs form a hierarchy. Only when one level of need is satisfied can a higher one be developed. As change occurs throughout life, however, the level of need motivating someone’s behaviour at any one time will also change.
- At the bottom of the hierarchy are the basic physiological needs for food, drink, sex and sleep, i.e., the basics for survival.
- Second are the needs for safety and security in both the physical and economic sense.
- Thirdly, progression can be made to satisfying the need for love and belonging.
- The fourth level refers to meeting the need for self-esteem and self-worth. This is the level most closely related to ‘self-empowerment’.
- The fifth level relates to the need to understand. This level includes more abstract ideas such as curiosity and the search for meaning or purpose and a deeper understanding.
- The sixth relates to aesthetic needs of beauty, symmetry and order.
- Finally, at the top of Maslow’s hierarchy is the need for self-actualisation.
Maslow says that all individuals have the need to see themselves as competent and autonomous, also that every person has limitless room for growth.
Self-actualisation refers to the desire that everybody has ‘to become everything that they are capable of becoming’. In other words, it refers to self-fulfilment and the need to reach full potential as a unique human being.
For Maslow, the path to self-actualisation involves being in touch with your feelings, experiencing life fully and with total concentration.
What is Mindset?
Why is it that some people seem to shine in any sphere in which they choose to exert themselves, and others cannot manage even a glimmer despite obvious talent?
Research shows that it’s the way that they think about their ability that really counts.
Most of those who have achieved greatness, to use Shakespeare’s phrase, have worked extremely hard to get there. Many were told that they would never amount to anything. But they believed that they could achieve, and worked hard to do so.
Fixed or Growth Mindset?
There are two ways to view intelligence or ability:
Ability it is fixed or ingrained – in other words, we are born with a certain level of ability and we cannot change that. This is called a fixed mindset.
We can develop our ability through hard work and effort. This is called a growth mindset.
These two different beliefs lead to different behaviour, and also to different results. For example, students with a growth mindset were shown to increase their grades over time. Those who believed that their intelligence was ingrained did not; in fact, their grades got worse.
Having a growth mindset (the belief that you are in control of your own ability, and can learn and improve) is the key to success.
Yes, hard work, effort, and persistence are all important, but not as important as having that underlying belief that you are in control of your own destiny.
This is why you should never praise children by talking about their ability, but instead describe the effort that they put in, and how much they have learned and developed their ability through the activity.
Don’t say: “Well done. You’re really good at maths.”
Do say: “That’s great. You tried really hard, and look how well you’ve done.”
It is important to praise the process, not the talent or ability.
People with these two mindsets actually think differently and also react to information differently.
In particular, they respond differently to information about performance.
In people with a fixed mindset, the brain is most active when they are being given information about how well they have done, for example, test results or grades.
In people with a growth mindset, the brain is most active when they are being told what they could do to improve.
It’s a very different approach: from ‘How did I do?’ to ‘What can I do better next time?’
One is about how they are perceived, and one is about how they can learn. You can see which one is likely to lead to better results in future.
Mindsets in action: The Tortoise and the Hare
The hare was so certain that he would win that he sat down and went to sleep during the race.
The tortoise just plodded on and kept going, always thinking that he had a chance of winning. When the hare woke, he started running as fast as he could, but he was just too late: the tortoise had won.
The hare had a fixed mindset. He believed that his innate ability would always mean that he would win whatever he did.
The tortoise had a growth mindset. He believed that he needed to work hard and keep going if he was to win. He was also not afraid of failure or he would never have agreed to race the hare.
https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ps/mindsets.html
Dealing with setbacks
These mindsets also cause people to deal with setbacks differently.
People with a fixed mindset are very discouraged by setbacks, because a setback dents their belief in their ability. They tend to become uninterested and give up.
People with a growth mindset view a setback as an opportunity to learn. They tend to try harder in an effort to overcome the problem.
https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ps/mindsets.html
Mindset in life
Mindsets are not just important for learning new skills. They can affect the way that we think about everything.
For example, a growth mindset can help you recover from illness because you believe that you can do something about the illness. They can help you achieve in sport, at work and can also help you grow and develop in relationships.
Cultivating a growth mindset could be the single most important thing you ever do to help you achieve success.
Assertiveness
Assertiveness is a skill regularly referred to in social and communication skills training.
Being assertive means being able to stand up for your own or other people’s rights in a calm and positive way, without being either aggressive, or passively accepting ‘wrong’.
Assertive individuals are able to get their point across without upsetting others, or becoming upset themselves.
Although everyone acts in passive and aggressive ways from time to time, such ways of responding often result from a lack of self-confidence and are, therefore, inappropriate ways of interacting with others.
https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ps/assertiveness.html
Self-confidence
Confidence is not something that can be learned like a set of rules; confidence is a state of mind. Positive thinking, practice, training, knowledge and talking to other people are all useful ways to help improve or boost your confidence levels.
Confidence comes from feelings of well-being, acceptance of your body and mind (your self-esteem) and belief in your own ability, skills and experience. Confidence is an attribute that most people would like to possess.
Although self-confidence can mean different things to different people, in reality it simply means having faith in yourself. (continue …)
Confidence is, in part, a result of how we have been brought up and how we’ve been taught. We learn from others how to think about ourselves and how to behave – these lessons affect what we believe about ourselves and other people. Confidence is also a result of our experiences and how we’ve learned to react to different situations.
Self-confidence is not a static measure. Our confidence to perform roles and tasks and deal with situations can increase and decrease, and some days we may feel more confident than others.
Low-confidence can be a result of many factors including: fear of the unknown, criticism, being unhappy with personal appearance (self-esteem), feeling unprepared, poor time-management, lack of knowledge and previous failures. Often when we lack confidence in ourselves it is because of what we believe others will think of us. Perhaps others will laugh at us or complain or make fun if we make a mistake. Thinking like this can prevent us from doing things we want or need to do because we believe that the consequences are too painful or embarrassing.
Over-confidence can be a problem if it makes you believe that you can do anything – even if you don’t have the necessary skills, abilities and knowledge to do it well. In such situations over-confidence can lead to failure. Being overly confident also means you are more likely to come across to other people as arrogant or egotistical. People are much more likely to take pleasure in your failure if you are perceived as arrogant.
https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ps/confidence.html
Self-esteem
Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself, or the opinion you have about yourself. Everyone has times when they feel a bit low or find it hard to believe in themselves. However, if this becomes a long-term situation, this can lead to problems, including mental health issues such as depression or anxiety. Some of the symptoms of low self-esteem can also be a sign of these problems.
Self-esteem is often the result of a lifetime of experiences, and particularly what happened to us as children. However, it is possible to improve your self-esteem at any age. This page provides more information about self-esteem, and some actions that you can take to improve it. (continue …)
Understanding Self-Esteem
Some people think of self-esteem as their inner voice (or self-dialogue) – the voice that tells you whether you are good enough to do or achieve something.
Self-esteem is actually about how we value ourselves, and our perceptions about who we are and what we are capable of.
Self-esteem is not about ability
Self-esteem is often not associated with either your own ability, or other people’s perceptions of you.
It is quite possible for someone who is good at something to have poor self-esteem. Conversely, someone who struggles with a particular task might generally have good self-esteem.
People with good self-esteem generally feel positive about themselves, and about life. This makes them much more resilient, and better able to cope with life’s ups and downs.
Those with poor self-esteem, however, are often much more critical of themselves. They find it harder to bounce back from challenges and setbacks. This may lead them to avoid difficult situations. That can, however, actually decrease their self-esteem still further, because they feel even worse about themselves as a result.
A lack of self-esteem can therefore influence how people behave, not to mention what they achieve in their lives.
Coercive and intimidating actions are intended to create a power imbalance by substituting dependence for interdependence. This is the most detrimental form of influence, and therefore it should be resisted most vigorously and directly. You can use several approaches. The following can be thought of as a hierarchy of preferred responses (begin with the first and progress to the next responses, if necessary).
1. Use countervailing power to shift dependence to interdependence. The primary reason individuals (particularly bosses) rely heavily on the threat of retribution as an influence strategy is because they perceive an inequality in power. Obviously, the boss in an organization has the final say, but the larger the perceived discrepancy in power, the greater the temptation to exploit the powerless. (…) However, when exploitation occurs, the time for planning how to increase your power base has passed. Ideally, you are in a position to focus your boss’s attention on your mutual dependence, that is, your interdependence. Point out the negative consequences of failing to respect your rights and acting cooperatively. As part of this discussion, it may be appropriate to discuss more acceptable means of satisfying the boss’s demands. (continue …)
2. Confront the exploiting individual directly. All individuals, no matter what their job or organizational status, must protect their personal rights. One of those rights is to be treated as an intelligent, mature, responsible adult. To initiate a complaint effectively, key elements include describing the problem in terms of behaviors, consequences, and feelings, persisting until understood, and making specific suggestions. These techniques can be used in this situation to stress the seriousness of your concerns. If necessary, you should specify actions you are willing to take to stop coercive behavior. For example, whistle-blowing involves registering a complaint with an external governing body.
3. Actively resist. As a last resort, you should consider “fighting fire with fire.” This is obviously a sensitive matter, but there are some individuals who will keep pushing others until they meet resistance. A work slowdown, deliberate disobedience to orders, or reporting the problem to a senior manager might be necessary. Again, this step should be pursued only after all other efforts to counter unwanted threats and demands have failed.
https://fac.ksu.edu.sa/sites/default/files/developing_management_skills-8th_edition.pdf
Many of the persuasion strategies used in sales and advertising fall into this category. In the marketplace, your concern is to avoid being duped. In the workplace, your concern is to avoid being manipulated. The following hierarchically arranged actions should be helpful in either situation. Once again, begin with the first response and follow with others if necessary.
1. Examine the intent of any gift or favorgiving activity. When a favor or gift is offered, you should consider the motives of the person, the appropriateness of the behavior, and the probable consequences. You should ask yourself questions such as “Is the giver likely to profit from this?” “Is this transaction inappropriate, unethical, or illegal?” “Is there a stated or implied expectation of reciprocation, and would I feel good about complying if the gift or favor were not offered?” In brief, when in doubt about a benefactor’s motives, ask questions or decline the gift.
2. Confront individuals who are using manipulative bargaining tactics. Common ploys used in these situations are escalating commitments (“I’m only interested in a small commitment [now]”) and reciprocal compromises (“I’ve lowered my extreme initial position; now I expect you [in the spirit of fair play] to also offer a compromise”). Simply drawing attention to these attempts at manipulation will enhance your power in the relationship. State that you do not approve of the manipulative strategy; then propose an alternative exchange, with emphasis on the merits of the case or the true value of the product rather than on the craftiness of the negotiators. You will thus be able to reshape the exchange process and avoid being manipulated.
3. Refuse to bargain with individuals who use high-pressure tactics. If steps 1 and 2 have failed, refuse to continue the discussion unless high-pressure tactics, such as imposing unrealistic time constraints or emphasizing the limited supply of the commodity or service, are dropped. If you suspect the dynamics of the negotiation process may be clouding your judgment about the value of the object or the importance of the issue, ask yourself, “Would I be interested in this item if there were an unlimited supply and no decision-making deadline?” If the answer is negative, either disengage from the negotiation process or focus your attention on its inequality. By shifting attention from content to process, you neutralize the advantage of a more experienced or powerful bargainer. By refusing to continue unless artificial constraints of time and supply are removed, you can establish fairer terms of trade.
https://fac.ksu.edu.sa/sites/default/files/developing_management_skills-8th_edition.pdf
Although strategies based on reason are the most egalitarian of influence attempts, they can still create or exacerbate conditions of inequity. The following ordered guidelines should help you avoid these situations:
1. Explain the adverse effects of compliance on performance. Often, others’ pressing priorities are your incidentals. The fact that someone can present a legitimate, convincing case does not mean you should comply with the request. For example, a request may be reasonable, but its timing bad; compliance would mean your having to miss important personal deadlines or neglect your customers. You should discuss these concerns with the influencer. By acknowledging the other person’s need, explaining your concerns about personal compliance, and then, helping to find alternatives, you avoid becoming overcommitted without giving offense. (continue …)
2. Defend your personal rights. If you have used step 1 and your petitioner persists, focus the discussion on your personal rights. If individuals frequently come to you for help because they mismanage their time or resources, appeal to their sense of fairness. Ask if it is right to ask you to get behind in your own work in order to bail them out of their predicaments. Coworkers have the right to request your help in a pinch, but you also have the right to say no when even reasonable requests place you at a serious disadvantage or when they stem from the negligence or overdependence of others. 3. Firmly refuse to comply with the request. If your efforts to explain why you are unable to comply have not worked, you should firmly restate your refusal and terminate the discussion. Some people believe that their case is so compelling, they have difficulty believing others won’t comply. If your coworker still “won’t take no for an answer,” it’s probably because your “no” was not firm enough. As a last resort, you may have to seek the support of a higher authority.
https://fac.ksu.edu.sa/sites/default/files/developing_management_skills-8th_edition.pdf
HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE WITHOUT LOSING YOURSELF (HARVARD)
Conventional wisdom says that assertive people get ahead. They tell people what they think, request the resources they need, ask for raises, and don’t take no for an answer. So what are non-assertive people supposed to do if their company’s culture rewards these actions? If you’re shy or reserved, don’t fret. You can ask for what you need and get what you want, while still being yourself.
What the Experts Say
Managers need some degree of self-confidence to be effective. “The right amount of assertiveness, respect for others, and intelligence is what makes a great leader,” says Lauren Zander, co-founder and chairman of the Handel Group, an executive coaching firm in New York City, and author of “Designing Your Life,” a course taught through MIT. Yet, there needs to be a balance. “There’s a sweet spot for assertiveness. If you’re below the range, you’re not going to get your way. If you’re above it, you’re not getting along with others,” says Daniel Ames, a professor of management at Columbia Business School and author of “Pushing Up to a Point: Assertiveness and Effectiveness in Leadership and Interpersonal Dynamics.” The good news is, “Being shy is not a permanent condition. Assertiveness can be learned,” says Zander. The key is to understand the context, assess your behavior, and then make the appropriate adjustments.
Understand the context
Assertiveness is not universally understood to be a positive trait. Before you make changes to your behavior, know the context you are working in. Does the culture — national, regional, or organizational — truly value forcefulness? Or do you work in a situation where a persuasive, quiet approach is sometimes more esteemed? Whether your assertiveness will be rewarded also depends on your gender. Avivah Wittenberg-Cox, CEO of 20-first, one of the world’s leading gender consulting firms, and author of How Women Mean Business warns that women who ask for what they want are often described as “bitchy and aggressive.” Ames agrees: “The range of latitude for women is smaller for what they can get away with,” he says. Consider the implications of your behavior before you alter it. (continue …)
Evaluate your level of assertiveness
You can do this by either assessing your own behavior or asking others for input. Zander suggests you ask yourself: “Are you willing to talk to anyone about what you want?” Most people will answer this question with some qualifications, which indicates the need to overcome fear and express your opinion more often. Ames also suggests you complete “a success inventory” to understand whether your style is effective. Over a defined period of time — a few weeks or a month — before entering a discussion or meeting, ask yourself, “What do I want from this situation?” Then, afterwards, evaluate the results: “Did I get what I wanted?” This will create a track record of your success and indicate whether you need to adjust your style.
Objectively rating your own behavior can be difficult. “The connection between what we think we’re doing and what others see is very weak. Often it’s not greater than chance,” says Ames. Therefore, it might help to get feedback from trusted colleagues or to conduct a 360-degree review.
Set goals and stick to them
If you find in your assessment that you are holding back in situations where you shouldn’t, ask yourself what you aren’t saying and why you’re keeping quiet. Next time you enter a similar situation, rehearse what you are going to say and how you will say it beforehand. Ames and Zander both suggest you challenge yourself with a specific time-bounded behavioral goal. For example, give yourself a week to initiate three difficult conversations with colleagues. Or tell yourself that for the next two weeks, whenever you’re in a group discussion, you’ll speak up within the first two minutes. “Focused incremental changes add up to real change,” Ames says. If you’re successful, set another goal and stick to it. If it doesn’t work, don’t beat yourself up. Try a different one. “Approach it with an attitude of playfulness,” he says.
Build relationships
Often times people hold back because they are uncomfortable in a situation, either because they don’t know people or they’re afraid of what others might think. “My experience with reserved, shy people is that the relational context matters to them,” says Ames. Therefore, it can help to get to know people outside of work. “Connect with work colleagues who are only casual acquaintances. Socialize with colleagues in a way that breaks down barriers,” Ames recommends. You may be less cautious about speaking up if you’re at ease socially.
Stay true to yourself
Altering your style to be more assertive can feel inauthentic, but it doesn’t have to be. You’re not changing your character; you are making deliberate choices about how you behave. “Don’t feel you have to muster interpersonal coldness to accompany your assertion. Feel free to be friendly and empathic while asking for your needs to be met,” says Ames. Find your own style instead of trying to imitate others. This is especially true for women. “Women need to be aware that becoming more like men is not sustainable,” says Cox. Nor do you need to be more assertive in every context every day. “You can bring out your competitive side when it’s useful and you can dial back and be accommodating when it’s helpful,” says Ames.
There’s a line — know when you’ve crossed it
Be careful that in your quest, you don’t become a bully or a nuisance.
Zander warns that being overly assertive is often interpreted as
self-promotional or arrogant. Monitor the impact you have on others. “The costs
of being overly assertive are not immediately apparent to us. If you yell at a
subordinate, she may do what you asked but she may also go home and update her
resume,” says Ames. Be sure your efforts to push more are well intended.
“Assertiveness is most appreciated when it’s in the service of the team,” says
Zander.
Principles to Remember
Do:
- Assess your own degree of assertiveness and ask others for feedback
- Set realistic goals to make small changes in your behavior and stick to them
- Forge relationships with colleagues outside of work so that you feel more comfortable speaking up
Don’t:
- Assume that assertiveness is always a good thing — the context you work in and your gender both matter
- Try to imitate someone else’s behavior — you can change while still being true to who you are
- Overcompensate and become aggressive — balance assertiveness with consideration of others
What does it mean to be smart?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kqw0WMzgF-0Passion
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Pd-LBZ2lHwMs König is teaching us Management English. We are a mixed group of sales managers, key account managers and sales assistants.
Ms König knows how to respond to a variety of challenges and how to make her sessions interesting.
She helps us to creatively transfer the acquired knowledge to Jokey so that we can use it in our jobs in a constructive way.
JOKEY PLASTIC WIPPERFÜRTH GMBH
Jokey Plastik Wipperfürth GmbH,
Sales Department
Frau König unterrichtet bei uns Management Englisch. Wir sind eine gemischte Gruppe bestehend aus Sales Manager, Key- Account Manager und Sales Assistant.
Frau König versteht es auf die unterschiedlichen Anforderungen gezielt einzugehen und den Unterricht interessant zu gestalten.
Sie hilft uns das Erlernte kreativ auf Jokey zu übertragen damit wir es für unseren Job positiv nutzen zu können.
JOKEY PLASTIC WIPPERFÜRTH GMBH
Jokey Plastik Wipperfürth GmbH,
Abteilung Vertrieb
